Thai classifiers: counting things correctly

Thai cannot count a noun directly. Between the number and the thing sits a classifier, a word that says what KIND of thing is being counted, and it is not optional. The order is noun, number, classifier: น้ำสองขวด (náam sǎwng khùat) is two bottles of water, literally water two bottle. English puts nothing between "two" and "bottles", so the slot feels like a word you are adding out of politeness. It is not. A number pressed straight against a noun is what sounds wrong to a Thai ear, in the way "two water" sounds wrong to yours. The same three words rearrange to point at something. Noun, classifier, then นี้ (níi) for this or นั้น (nán) for that, with no number anywhere: เสื้อตัวนี้ (sêua dtua níi) this shirt, ตัวนั้น (dtua nán) that one. That is why อันนี้ (an-níi), the phrase you learned in your first week, has a classifier buried inside it. A third word fits the same slot, and it is the one learners are rarely shown: ไหน (nǎi), which. อันไหนถูกที่สุดครับ (an-nǎi thùuk-thîi-sùt khráp) is which one is the cheapest. สนใจตัวไหนคะ (sǒn-jai dtua nǎi khá) is what an assistant says to you at a clothes rack. ยาตัวไหนแก้ปวดคะ (yaa dtua-nǎi gâe bpùat khá) asks which of the bags from the pharmacy is the painkiller. นี้, นั้น and ไหน are one frame with three fillings, and stopping after the first two leaves you able to point but not to ask. Once the thing is obvious the noun drops out and the classifier finishes the job on its own. Hold a bottle up and สองขวด (sǎwng khùat) is a complete order, with nothing missing from it. That is the shape most of your buying will actually take, because the vendor can already see what you are pointing at. One is the number that behaves differently, and it has two orders, both correct. The ordinary spoken shape puts the number last: น้ำขวดหนึ่ง (náam khùat nèung), a bottle of water. The other is the plain counting order with หนึ่ง sitting in the number slot, ขอข้าวผัดหมูหนึ่งจานค่ะ (khǎw khâao phàt mǔu nèung jaan khâ), one plate of pork fried rice. Neither is a mistake and you will meet both in the same afternoon: หนึ่งจาน is the fuller shape, the one a written price list uses; จานนึง is what comes across a counter. In speech หนึ่ง after a classifier is squeezed to นึง, so ขอน้ำเปล่าขวดนึงครับ (khǎw nám-bplàao khùat neung khráp) is what a bottle of water sounds like, and ร้อยนึง (ráwy neung) is the same reduction on a number. Say ขวดหนึ่ง and nobody blinks; recognise ขวดนึง or you will not catch what was said to you. Do not let เดียว (diao) in through that door. ขวดหนึ่ง is a bottle. ขวดเดียว (khùat diao) is only one bottle, one and no more, and the difference is not decorative. คนเดียว (khon diao) is the everyday case: asked กี่คนคะ (gìi khon khá) at a restaurant door, the answer for a table for yourself is คนเดียวครับ (khon diao khráp), which is why อยู่คนเดียว (yùu khon diao) is I live alone. The noun has dropped out of that one, exactly as it does in สองขวด. ครั้งเดียว (khráng diao) is one time and no more, and อาหารจานเดียว (aa-hǎan jaan diao) is the single-plate meal you eat at lunch. Questions use the same slot. กี่ (gìi) is how many, and in every pattern you will meet it takes a classifier or a unit behind it: กี่คน how many people, เอากี่อันคะ (ao gìi an khá) how many do you want, เอากี่ที่ครับ (ao gìi thîi khráp) how many portions, กี่วัน how many days, กี่โมง what time. Answering is mechanical. Put the number where กี่ was and reuse the classifier they used: they ask เอากี่อันคะ, you say เอาสองอันครับ (ao sǎwng an khráp); they ask เอากี่ตัวคะ, you answer in ตัว. Reusing their classifier is the fastest way to sound as though you have done this before, and it saves you having to know the right one. When there is no classifier to hand กี่, the question word is เท่าไหร่ (thâo-rài) instead: อันนี้เท่าไหร่ครับ (an-níi thâo-rài khráp), how much is this one. ละ (lá) means per, and it sits behind the classifier rather than in front of it: ครั้งละสองเม็ด (khráng lá sǎwng mét), two tablets each time, which is how a pharmacist gives you a dose; วันละ (wan lá) per day; ถุงละ (thǔng lá) per bag; โลละ (loo lá) per kilo. Listen for what is sitting in front of ละ, because that is the thing being counted, charged or dosed. ที่ (thîi) does two jobs and the position of the number is the only thing separating them. After the number it is a portion: ขอผัดกะเพราหมูสองที่ค่ะ (khǎw phàt-gà-phrao mǔu sǎwng thîi khâ), two orders of pork basil. Before the number it is an ordinal, so ที่สอง is the second. Around food, ที่ and จาน (jaan, plate) are both safe for a plate meal, ชาม (chaam) is the bowl noodles arrive in, and ใบ (bai) counts the plates and bowls themselves: ขอจานเล็กสองใบครับ (khǎw jaan lék sǎwng bai khráp), two small plates. Units are the exception that take no classifier, because a unit already is one. สองโล (sǎwng loo) is two kilos and สองขีด (sǎwng khìit) is two hundred grams, which is how a meat stall is asked for a small quantity. Days, hours and years work the same way. Nothing goes between the number and the unit. If you do not know the classifier, อัน (an) is the accepted fallback for small objects, and pointing plus อันนี้ works everywhere. Be honest about what that buys you. Using อัน for a shirt will be understood and sounds a little childish, so it is a usable fallback rather than the target. It also does not reach the categories you need most: people, animals, vehicles, buildings and rooms all have classifiers of their own, and อัน is not one of them. One pair is worth special respect. คน (khon) counts people. ตัว (dtua), the animal classifier, used of a person is not a small slip, it is an insult. Sort those two first and the rest can arrive slowly. That said, ตัว is not a rude word and you will use it constantly, because it counts animals and also shirts, tables, chairs and fish. ตัวไหน is what you hear at a clothes rack, and ตัวนี้ is how you buy a shirt. Two more people-classifiers are for recognising rather than producing. ท่าน (thâan) is the deferential counter, and a smarter restaurant asks กี่ท่านคะ (gìi thâan khá) at the door; you will only ever hear ท่าน, never need to say it. รูป (rûup) counts monks and novices, and องค์ (ong) is for Buddha images, royalty and sacred objects. Knowing them keeps you from being lost when they are used near you. Some nouns are their own classifier, and the word then appears twice in a count: ห้องสองห้อง (hâwng sǎwng hâwng), two rooms, stated in full. That is not a mistake, though สองห้อง on its own is the everyday form once rooms are what you are talking about. Point rather than count and the doubling collapses, so ห้องนี้ (hâwng níi) is simply this room. The chart below sorts the classifiers by situation rather than by frequency, so you can read down one group when you know where you are going. Numbers themselves are on Thai numbers and prices, the first ten are taught on Numbers one to ten, the pointing and comparing frames are worked harder on Comparing things, and the classifiers drill tests the ones you will meet in a week.