Two minutes in, face down with your head in the hole, a voice above you asks whether the pressure is hard enough, and whatever you answer is what you get for the rest of the hour, because saying nothing is taken as yes. That is the difficulty here: nearly everything has to be said before it is too late to say it. No cracking my neck, before the hands are near your jaw. The back surgery, the blood pressure, the pregnancy, at the counter where the therapist is chosen, not on the mat. The price of the hour, at the door. The salon is less forgiving still: ซอย sawy, the layering many stylists add by default, cannot be undone, so the same shape as before and a photo come out before the first cut. Then the vocabulary that steers it: เจ็บ jèp, the sharp pain that means stop, against เมื่อย mêuay, the ache of a knot; front down and face up; softer, harder, right here; and the level sentence for a bill larger than the one quoted at the door.
What you say first.
ตัดผมเท่าไหร่ครับ
dtàt phǒm thâo-rài khráp
How much for a haircut?
Male speaker
Ask this at the door before you sit down: barber prices are fixed, so this is a real question, not an opener for bargaining. ตัด (dtàt) is cut and ผม (phǒm) is head hair, the same word men use for "I", and context keeps them apart. เท่าไหร่ (thâo-rài) is the all-purpose price question you will reuse in every situation on this site. To get the cut you actually want, show a photo and add ตัดแบบนี้ครับ (dtàt bàep níi khráp), cut it like this.
Female speaker
ตัดผมเท่าไหร่คะ
dtàt phǒm thâo-rài khá
มีคิวว่างตอนนี้ไหมคะ
mii khiu wâang dtawn-níi mǎi khá
Do you have a free slot right now?
Female speaker
The walk-in question. คิว is the English word queue and every shop uses it for both the slot and the waiting list. A man says ไหมครับ instead. Note the tone: in a question the female particle is คะ, high, while the falling ค่ะ belongs on statements. If they answer with a bare number it is usually the wait in minutes, but they may give you a clock time instead, so repeat it back: รอกี่นาทีคะ (raw gìi naa-thii khá), how many minutes is the wait.
รอนานไหมคะ
raw naan mǎi khá
Is the wait long?
Female speaker
Ask the moment they say nothing is free right now. The two answers you will get are รอประมาณยี่สิบนาทีนะคะ (raw bprà-maan yîi-sìp naa-thii ná khá), about twenty minutes, and นั่งรอตรงนี้ก่อนนะคะ (nâng raw dtrong níi gàwn ná khá), sit and wait here, which means yes and they expect you to stay. รอสักครู่ (raw sàk-khrûu) means a few minutes at most.
นวดไทยชั่วโมงนึงเท่าไหร่ครับ
nûat thai chûa-moong neung thâo-rài khráp
How much is an hour of Thai massage?
Male speaker
Ask before you sit down, every time, even at a shop you know. The wall list is the honest price at most places, but the walk-in rate, the aircon room and the ninety minute block are all priced differently. Swap the service freely: นวดน้ำมัน for oil, นวดเท้า for feet. A number said out loud at the start is what keeps any later disagreement about the bill short.
ขอจองนวดไทยชั่วโมงนึงบ่ายสองครับ
khǎw jawng nûat thai chûa-moong neung bàai sǎwng khráp
I would like to book a one hour Thai massage at two o'clock.
Male speaker
นวดไทย is the dry one with the stretching, elbows and thumbs; you stay dressed and they lend you pyjamas. ชั่วโมงนึง is how an hour is said out loud, after the thing being bought; หนึ่งชั่วโมง is the written form on the price list. Swap the time freely: บ่ายสาม is three in the afternoon, สี่โมงเย็น is four. An hour of notice is enough at most shops, though Sunday evening fills up.
ขอเลื่อนคิวเป็นพรุ่งนี้ได้ไหมคะ
khǎw lêuan khiu bpen phrûng-níi dâi mǎi khá
Can I move my slot to tomorrow?
Female speaker
A held slot is an hour the therapist cannot sell, so a small shop remembers a no-show. เลื่อน, move it, lands far better than cancelling outright and normally costs you nothing. If you must cancel: ขอยกเลิกคิวนะคะ ขอโทษด้วยค่ะ (khǎw yók-lôek khiu ná khá, khǎw-thôot dûay khâ). A LINE message an hour ahead is enough.
จะไปสายประมาณสิบห้านาทีนะคะ
jà bpai sǎai bprà-maan sìp-hâa naa-thii ná khá
I will be about fifteen minutes late.
Female speaker
Traffic makes this routine and nobody minds, as long as the message arrives before the slot does. สาย is late for an appointment, not the general word for slow. Send it on LINE and they hold the therapist. Arrive silently late and the hour gets trimmed at the far end, because the next customer is already booked.
ผมเคยผ่าตัดหลังครับ
phǒm khoei phàa-dtàt lǎng khráp
I have had back surgery.
Male speaker
Say it at the counter, in front of whoever assigns the therapist, not on the mat where it will be forgotten. เคย marks something that has happened to you before. The other two that change what they do: ความดันสูงครับ (khwaam-dan sǔung khráp), high blood pressure, and ท้องสามเดือนค่ะ (tháwng sǎam deuan khâ), three months pregnant. Most shops decline the first trimester or send you to a therapist trained for pregnancy, and that refusal is care rather than rudeness.
อย่าดัดคอนะครับ
yàa dàt khaw ná khráp
Please do not crack my neck.
Male speaker
Thai massage ends with ดัด, the bending and cracking of the back and neck, and nobody will ask you first. Say this at the start, not when the hands are already on your jaw. For the back, ไม่ต้องดัดหลังนะคะ (mâi dtâwng dàt lǎng ná khá), no back cracking needed. With a disc problem, osteoporosis, recent surgery or high blood pressure this is the sentence that matters most, and refusing is completely ordinary.
ขอผ้าห่มหน่อยค่ะ
khǎw phâa-hòm nàwy khâ
Could I have a blanket?
Female speaker
The aircon is set for people working, not for people lying still, and an hour under it is cold. หนาวไปนิดนึงค่ะ (nǎao bpai nít neung khâ) says it is a bit too cold. Water afterwards is normal and free: ขอน้ำหน่อยค่ะ (khǎw náam nàwy khâ). ขอ ... หน่อย is the whole grammar of asking for a small thing.
ห้องน้ำอยู่ไหนคะ
hâwng-náam yùu nǎi khá
Where is the toilet?
Female speaker
Ask before you change, not forty minutes into a ninety minute session, because getting up mid massage means dressing again in a curtained cubicle. In an older shophouse the toilet is at the back past the staff area, and there is a pair of plastic shoes at its door meant for you.
คิดเงินด้วยครับ
khít ngoen dûay khráp
The bill, please.
Male speaker
คิดเงิน is literally to count the money and it works in any shop or restaurant here; เช็คบิล (chék bin) is the other common form. Then รวมทั้งหมดเท่าไหร่ครับ (ruam tháng-mòt thâo-rài khráp), how much altogether, and จ่ายตรงไหนคะ (jàai dtrong nǎi khá), where do I pay, because the till is usually not where you were lying.
สแกนจ่ายได้ไหมคะ
sà-gaen jàai dâi mǎi khá
Can I pay by QR scan?
Female speaker
Almost every shop now has a PromptPay QR taped to the counter, and plenty of small ones take that or cash and nothing else. รับบัตรไหมคะ (ráp bàt mǎi khá) asks about cards, and at a shophouse the honest answer is usually no. For a receipt, ขอใบเสร็จด้วยครับ (khǎw bai-sèt dûay khráp), which you need if you are splitting the bill or claiming it.
ปกติให้ทิปเท่าไหร่คะ
bpòk-gà-dtì hâi thíp thâo-rài khá
How much do people usually tip?
Female speaker
A question for a Thai friend or colleague rather than for the shop, since asking the staff makes them name a figure for their own tip. Put to a friend, the natural form is ทิปเท่าไหร่ดีคะ (thíp thâo-rài dii khá), how much would be a good tip. The figures: nothing is added to the bill, but for massage fifty to a hundred baht an hour is expected, more if they worked hard on a bad shoulder. Many shops hand you an envelope or point at a box marked with the therapist's number so the split is recorded; where there is neither, give it directly with your right hand. At a salon a tip is optional and much smaller, often just the coins.
ขอหมอคนเดิมได้ไหมคะ
khǎw mǎw khon doem dâi mǎi khá
Can I have the same therapist as last time?
Female speaker
หมอนวด (mǎw-nûat) is the word for the therapist, literally massage doctor, and shortening it to หมอ is normal. Shops track them by number, so the version that actually works at the counter is ขอเบอร์เจ็ดค่ะ (khǎw boe jèt khâ), number seven please. Address her as พี่ (phîi) if she is older than you. Book the good ones a day ahead, because they are the ones who fill up.
มีคอร์สสิบครั้งไหมคะ
mii khàwt sìp khráng mǎi khá
Do you have a ten visit course?
Female speaker
The resident's discount, and the difference between paying the walk-in rate forever and not. Ten prepaid visits usually cost about the price of eight, and the card stays behind the counter under your name. Ask for the shop's LINE in the same breath: ขอไลน์ร้านไว้จองได้ไหมคะ (khǎw laai ráan wái jawng dâi mǎi khá), so you can book without walking over.
ทำสีผมยาวคิดเพิ่มไหมคะ
tham sǐi phǒm yaao khít phôem mǎi khá
Is there an extra charge for colouring long hair?
Female speaker
The surcharge that turns a nine hundred baht colour into two thousand. Thai salons price colour and treatments for Thai hair length, and anything past the shoulder is billed as extra product. Ask before the cape goes on, not at the till. For a cut the plain question is ตัดผมเท่าไหร่คะ (dtàt phǒm thâo-rài khá).
ตัดปลายออกประมาณสองนิ้วค่ะ
dtàt bplaai àwk bprà-maan sǎwng níu khâ
Take about two inches off the ends.
Female speaker
Thai salons think in นิ้ว, inches, not centimetres. นิ้ว is also the word for finger, so hold your thumb and forefinger apart to show the gap you mean as you say สองนิ้ว. The gesture carries the length, not the number, and the length is what they will cut to. Avoid ตัดสั้นๆ, cut it short, unless you mean much shorter than you probably do.
ขอทำสีน้ำตาลเข้มครับ
khǎw tham sǐi nám-dtaan khêm khráp
I would like a dark brown colour.
Male speaker
ทำสี is what a city salon calls a colour job; ย้อมผม (yáwm phǒm) is the older word and now means covering grey, so leading with it dates you. น้ำตาล is literally palm juice, from ตาล the sugar palm, and it is the word for both sugar and the colour brown. เข้ม is dark and อ่อน (àwn) is light, so สีน้ำตาลอ่อน is light brown. Colour names travel badly between languages, so open a photo on your phone and point at it as you say this.
แพ้สีย้อมผมค่ะ
páe sǐi yáwm phǒm khâ
I am allergic to hair dye.
Female speaker
แพ้ covers allergy and intolerance and is the same word you use for food, dust and medicine, so it is worth owning. Say it before the consultation, and ask for a patch test: ทดสอบก่อนได้ไหมคะ (thót-sàwp gàwn dâi mǎi khá). Ammonia free ranges exist in city salons and are sold as ออร์แกนิค, which here is a marketing word rather than a standard.
ใช้เวลานานไหมคะ
chái wee-laa naan mǎi khá
Will it take long?
Female speaker
A colour with bleach runs three to four hours in a Thai salon and nobody volunteers that at the start. Ask before you commit, and push for a number with กี่ชั่วโมงคะ (gìi chûa-moong khá), how many hours, if the answer is vague. Eat first, because a long colour appointment runs straight through lunch.
ข้างสั้นข้างบนยาวไว้ครับ
khâang sân khâang-bon yaao wái khráp
Short at the sides, keep the top long.
Male speaker
The standard request at a ร้านตัดผมชาย, the men's barber, where the staff are usually men and the cut runs about a hundred baht. ไว้ after a verb means leave it that way. ไม่เอาปัตตาเลี่ยนครับ (mâi ao bpàt-dtà-lîan khráp) means no clippers, worth saying because the clipper is the default here and it goes shorter than you expect.
What they will say back, and how you answer it.
กี่คนคะ
gìi khon khá
How many people?
Female speaker
The first thing said to you at the door, because two customers need two therapists free at the same moment. Answer สองคนค่ะ or สองคนครับ (sǎwng khon), two of us. If only one therapist is free they will offer to start you one after the other, which at a busy shop is usually worth taking.
วันนี้คิวเต็มค่ะพรุ่งนี้ได้ไหมคะ
wan-níi khiu dtem khâ phrûng-níi dâi mǎi khá
We are fully booked today, would tomorrow work?
Female speaker
What the counter says back, and the one sentence that decides your afternoon. เต็ม is full. Listen for both particles in a single breath: falling ค่ะ closing the statement, high คะ closing the question. If instead they say รอสักครู่ (raw sàk-khrûu) you are being asked to wait, not turned away.
พรุ่งนี้สิบโมงเช้าได้ครับ
phrûng-níi sìp moong cháo dâi khráp
Tomorrow at ten in the morning works.
Male speaker
In everyday speech the morning hour is just the clock number plus โมงเช้า: หกโมงเช้า six, สิบโมงเช้า ten. Older speakers and people outside Bangkok still use the traditional count, where สี่โมงเช้า means ten in the morning, so if the hour matters ask them to write it down: เขียนให้ดูได้ไหมครับ (khǐan hâi duu dâi mǎi khráp). ได้ on its own means that works for me, and it closes the booking. Expect ชื่ออะไรคะ (chêu à-rai khá), your name, next.
จองในชื่อเดวิดนะครับ
jawng nai chêu dee-wít ná khráp
Book it under the name David.
Male speaker
What you say after ชื่ออะไรคะ. Give a short first name or a nickname and never a full foreign surname, because it is being written in Thai script by ear and has to be read back to you later. ขอเบอร์โทรด้วยค่ะ (khǎw boe thoo dûay khâ) is the request for your phone number, and numbers are confirmed digit by digit, so read yours out one digit at a time.
ถอดรองเท้าตรงนี้นะคะ
thàwt rawng-tháo dtrong níi ná khá
Take your shoes off here.
Female speaker
Said at the door before anything else. Two more follow in the same breath: เปลี่ยนชุดก่อนนะคะ (bplìan chút gàwn ná khá), change into these first, and ล้างเท้าก่อนนะคะ (láang tháo gàwn ná khá), foot wash first. The foot wash is standard before Thai massage and is not an upsell, so sit down and let them do it.
นวดไทยหรือนวดน้ำมันคะ
nûat thai rěu nûat nám-man khá
Thai massage or oil massage?
Female speaker
The first thing you will hear once you sit down, often before you have taken your shoes off. น้ำมัน is oil. Two more may follow: นวดเท้า (nûat tháo) for feet and นวดหน้า (nûat nâa) for a facial. Oil means undressing and a shower afterwards, Thai means you stay clothed.
นวดน้ำมันชั่วโมงนึงค่ะ
nûat nám-man chûa-moong neung khâ
Oil massage, one hour.
Female speaker
The complete answer, and no verb is needed. ชั่วโมงนึง is the spoken form and the price list writes the same thing as หนึ่งชั่วโมง. สองชั่วโมง (sǎwng chûa-moong) is two hours, and ชั่วโมงครึ่ง (chûa-moong khrêung) is an hour and a half, which many shops price better than one.
นวดแผนไทยอย่างเดียวครับ
nûat phǎen thai yàang diao khráp
Traditional Thai massage only.
Male speaker
Say it flat and once; ไม่เอาครับ ขอบคุณครับ (mâi ao khráp, khàwp-khun khráp) closes it. Read the shopfront before you ever need this. ร้านนวดแผนไทย and ร้านนวดเพื่อสุขภาพ are health shops with an open front and a price list on the wall, the therapist is often a grandmother, and hinting at anything else there is a serious insult. อาบอบนวด is a different trade with its own signage. The sign and the price list tell you, not the staff.
ปวดตรงไหนเป็นพิเศษไหมคะ
bpùat dtrong nǎi bpen phí-sèet mǎi khá
Is anywhere hurting in particular?
Female speaker
Asked at almost every shop, and the question that decides whether you get a generic hour or the hour you came for. The short version is เมื่อยตรงไหนคะ (mêuay dtrong nǎi khá). ปวด is pain, เมื่อย is the stiff ache of a knot. Answer with a body part and a hand on it.
เน้นบ่ากับคอหน่อยครับ
nén bàa gàp khaw nàwy khráp
Please concentrate on my shoulders and neck.
Male speaker
เน้น is the verb to reuse all hour: เน้นหลัง back, เน้นขา legs, เน้นเท้า feet. บ่า is the flat top of the shoulder where a desk job settles, ไหล่ (lài) is the joint itself. For the lower back, ปวดหลังส่วนล่างครับ (bpùat lǎng sùan lâang khráp), and the four words that explain it all, นั่งหน้าคอมทั้งวันครับ (nâng nâa khawm tháng wan khráp), I sit at a computer all day.
นอนคว่ำนะคะ
nawn khwâm ná khá
Lie on your front.
Female speaker
Learn the pair before you are face down and cannot see: คว่ำ is front down, หงาย is face up, so นอนหงายค่ะ (nawn ngǎai khâ) is roll onto your back. Halfway through comes พลิกตัวนะคะ (phlík dtua ná khá), turn over. Miss them and you get turned over by hand, which startles most people the first time.
แรงพอไหมครับ
raeng phaw mǎi khráp
Is the pressure hard enough?
Male speaker
Asked in the first two minutes, while you are face down and least able to think. Male therapists are common for Thai massage on men and standard at blind masseur clinics, so you will hear this in both voices; from a woman it is แรงพอไหมคะ. If it is right, say พอดีแล้วค่ะ or พอดีแล้วครับ (phaw-dii láew), just right, or กำลังดี (gam-lang dii). A bare พอแล้ว reads as stop, that is enough, and cuts the section short. If it is not right, the next phrase is what you want.
แรงกว่านี้ได้ไหม
raeng gwàa níi dâi mǎi
Can you go harder than that?
Face down with your head in the hole, particles get dropped and nobody thinks it rude; add ครับ or คะ if you would rather stay formal. กว่านี้ is the comparative you reuse all hour: เบากว่านี้ lighter, ช้ากว่านี้ slower, นานกว่านี้ longer.
ต่ออีกชั่วโมงไหมครับ
dtàw ìik chûa-moong mǎi khráp
Would you like another hour?
Male speaker
Asked around the fifty minute mark. ต่อ is to continue, and it is also how you buy the better value extension on the spot: ต่ออีกครึ่งชั่วโมงครับ adds thirty minutes. To take the full hour, ต่ออีกชั่วโมงครับ. At a salon the same moment comes as ทรีตเมนต์ไหมคะ, the treatment upsell.
พอแค่นี้ครับขอบคุณครับ
phaw khâe níi khráp khàwp-khun khráp
That is enough, thank you.
Male speaker
The decline that keeps you welcome next time. A bare ไม่ (mâi) is curt at the end of an hour someone has spent on you, while พอแค่นี้ with a thank you attached is a complete refusal that costs nothing. A woman says พอแค่นี้ค่ะ ขอบคุณค่ะ. Note that พอ here is fine, because ending is exactly what you mean.
ขอบคุณมากครับสบายขึ้นเยอะเลย
khàwp-khun mâak khráp sà-baai khêun yóe loei
Thank you, that feels much better.
Male speaker
She will wâi you at the door and say ขอบคุณค่ะ, and this is what goes back. Return the wâi with your hands lower than hers, since she is the one working. นวดดีมากครับ (nûat dii mâak khráp), that was a very good massage, belongs to the therapist and not the counter. ไว้มาใหม่ครับ (wái maa mài khráp), I will come again, is worth more to a small shop than a bigger tip.
เอาสั้นแค่ไหนคะ
ao sân khâe nǎi khá
How short do you want it?
Female speaker
The direct reply to any haircut request, and the moment to show with your fingers rather than talk. Two more come with it: สระผมด้วยไหมคะ (sà phǒm dûay mǎi khá), wash as well, and ไดร์ด้วยไหมคะ (dai dûay mǎi khá), blow dry too. Both are cheap add-ons rather than free, so ask the price if it matters.
ซอยไหมคะ
sawy mǎi khá
Shall I put layers in?
Female speaker
ซอย is point cutting into the length to thin and layer it, and สไลด์ (sà-lai) is the sliding version of the same idea. Many stylists do it by default because it is the local look, and it is the commonest reason a foreigner leaves a Thai salon unhappy. If you are unsure, say no: layers can be added next time, length cannot.
ไม่เอาซอยค่ะเอาทรงเดิม
mâi ao sawy khâ ao song doem
No layers, keep the same shape.
Female speaker
ทรงเดิม, the same shape, is the phrase that saves a haircut, and it works best with a photo of your own hair from last month held up beside it. Say it before the first cut, because ซอย cannot be undone. ไม่เอาสไลด์ค่ะ blocks the sliding cut too, which is worth adding if you see the scissors held at an angle to the hair.
You did not catch it, or something is not right.
เบาลงหน่อยได้ไหมคะ
bao long nàwy dâi mǎi khá
Could you go a bit softer?
Female speaker
เบาลง is turn it down, the same words you use for a radio. หน่อย makes it a request instead of a complaint. Say it in the first five minutes: silence is read as approval here, and the pressure you accept at the start is the pressure you get for the full hour.
โอ๊ยเจ็บเบาๆหน่อย
óoi jèp bao-bao nàwy
Ow, that hurts, gently there.
เจ็บ is the sharp pain that means stop now. It is not เมื่อย (mêuay), the deep ache of a knot being worked, and therapists listen for which word you use. Doubling เบาๆ turns an order into a plea. If a specific spot is the problem, point and say ตรงนี้ (dtrong níi), right here.
พูดช้าๆอีกทีได้ไหมครับ
phûut cháa-cháa ìik thii dâi mǎi khráp
Could you say that again slowly?
Male speaker
อีกที is one more time. This works better than ไม่เข้าใจ (mâi khâo-jai) alone, which usually gets you the same speed at higher volume. If it was a number you missed, ask for it in writing: เขียนให้ดูได้ไหมครับ (khǐan hâi duu dâi mǎi khráp).
ตอนแรกบอกสามร้อยนะครับ
dtawn râek bàwk sǎam ráwy ná khráp
You said three hundred at the start.
Male speaker
For a bill that has grown. ตอนแรก, at first, carries the whole argument: it states a fact rather than accusing anyone, and that is what keeps the room calm. It only works if you asked the price on the way in, which is why นวดไทยชั่วโมงนึงเท่าไหร่ครับ is worth the ten seconds. Say it, then look at the wall price list, ราคา (raa-khaa), and wait. The extra is usually a tip line or minutes nobody agreed to.
ไม่ได้ขอสั้นขนาดนี้ค่ะ
mâi-dâi khǎw sân khà-nàat níi khâ
I did not ask for it this short.
Female speaker
ไม่ได้ before a verb denies that the thing happened, which is what you need here; plain ไม่ would only mean you do not want it. ขนาดนี้ is this much. Said quietly this usually gets you a free fix or a wash thrown in. Said loudly it gets you nothing, because the hair is already on the floor.