Dating and family in Thai

ไปเที่ยวด้วยกันไหมครับ

bpai thîao dûay-gan mǎi khráp

Do you want to go out somewhere together?

Male speaker

ไปเที่ยว (bpai thîao) covers any outing, a night market, a waterfall, a cafe run, so the invitation stays light with no loaded word for date. Listen for ไปสิ (bpai sì), sure let's go, or แล้วแต่ (láew dtàe), up to you, which usually means yes but you do the planning.

มีแฟนหรือยังครับ

mii faen rěu yang khráp

Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend yet?

Male speaker

A hearing phrase, and you will hear it in week one from taxi drivers, fruit vendors and your partner's aunts. แฟน (faen, from the English word fan) means boyfriend, girlfriend or partner, any gender, and the question is friendly small talk, not flirting. Answer มีแล้วครับ (mii láew khráp), taken, or ยังครับ (yang khráp), not yet.

ยินดีที่ได้รู้จักครับ

yin-dii thîi dâi rúu-jàk khráp

I'm glad to have met you.

Male speaker

The sentence for meeting the parents. Deliver it with a wai, palms together at chest height and a small bow, aimed first at the father, then the mother. The reply you will hear is เช่นกันครับ or เช่นกันค่ะ (chên gan, likewise). Do not offer elders a handshake unless they offer first.

คุณมีแฟนหรือยังครับ

khun mii faen rěu yang khráp

Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend yet?

Male speaker

The normal opener, far more usual than asking if someone is single. Ask it lightly and only once you have already been chatting. The likely answers are ยังไม่มี (yang mâi mii, not yet), มีแล้ว (mii láew, I have someone), or a laugh and a change of subject, which is also an answer.

คุณมีแฟนหรือยังคะ

khun mii faen rěu yang khá

Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend yet?

Female speaker

Same sentence, female particle. Questions take คะ with a high tone, khá, not the falling ค่ะ khâ you use on statements. Getting that one tone wrong is the single most common giveaway in a foreigner's Thai.

ชื่อเล่นชื่ออะไรครับ

chêu-lên chêu à-rai khráp

What is your nickname?

Male speaker

Ask this before you ask for their LINE. Nobody in Thailand is addressed by their given name, so the ชื่อเล่น chêu-lên is the only name you will ever use. The answer is one syllable, often an English word or an animal. Offer yours back in the same breath, and invent one if you do not have one. The name on their LINE profile is the legal name, and using it is immediately and permanently odd.

ขอไลน์ได้ไหมครับ

khǎw lai dâi mǎi khráp

Could I have your LINE?

Male speaker

For staying in touch socially it is LINE, not a phone number. People do still give a number, but usually so that you can add them on LINE with it rather than call them. Say this as you are leaving, not mid conversation. If they say ไม่ค่อยเล่นไลน์ (mâi khâwy lên lai, I do not really use LINE) that is a soft no, so thank them and drop it.

นี่ผมเองนะครับคนที่เจอกันเมื่อกี้

nîi phǒm eeng ná khráp khon thîi joe gan mêua-gîi

It is me, the person you just met.

Male speaker

Send it the same evening. A contact you add and never message is gone by the next day, because your display name means nothing to them yet. Write in Thai even if it is clumsy. If what comes back is a single sticker, that is a real reply and not a brush-off, so send one back and leave it there until tomorrow.

เกิดปีอะไรครับ

gòet bpii à-rai khráp

What year were you born?

Male speaker

You need the age because it decides พี่ phîi and น้อง náwng for the rest of the relationship, but asking for a number is blunt. The zodiac year is the sideways version Thais actually use, and it gets you the age in twelve-year blocks without anyone saying a figure out loud. The direct form ปีนี้อายุเท่าไหร่ครับ (bpii níi aa-yú thâo-rài khráp, how old are you this year) is fine between people of obviously different ages, and normal from an older person downwards.

อายุเท่าไหร่ครับผมจะได้เรียกถูก

aa-yú thâo-rài khráp phǒm jà dâi rîak thùuk

How old are you, so that I use the right word for you?

Male speaker

คุณ khun works as you, but it stays formal and a little distancing, and Thai has no warm neutral replacement for it, so the age question is not nosiness, it is grammar. Asked with the reason attached it is charming rather than blunt, because you are visibly trying to get it right. Once you have an age, a name or a พี่ or น้อง, stop using คุณ, since Thai speakers use the kin term or the name with anyone they like. A woman says ค่ะ khâ and ฉัน chǎn.

เสาร์นี้ไปกินข้าวด้วยกันไหมคะ

sǎo níi bpai gin khâao dûay-gan mǎi khá

Do you want to go and eat together this Saturday?

Female speaker

A meal is the standard first date and gin khâao carries none of the weight that dinner does in English. Name the day, because an open invitation with no date is heard as politeness rather than an actual ask. A man says ครับ khráp at the end.

เดี๋ยวไปส่งนะครับ

dǐao bpai sòng ná khráp

I will take you home.

Male speaker

The end of a Thai evening is scripted and this is the first half of it. ไปส่ง bpai sòng covers walking them to the taxi as much as riding the whole way. Offering costs nothing even when they refuse and take a motorbike; not offering is the most visible way a foreigner signals he is not serious. A woman says ค่ะ khâ.

ถึงบ้านแล้วบอกด้วยนะครับ

thěung bâan láew bàwk dûay ná khráp

Let me know when you get home.

Male speaker

The second half of the ending, sent or said as they leave. It is care, not surveillance, and it is expected from both sides, so you will be asked for it as often as you ask. The answer that comes back is ถึงแล้วค่ะ.

ดิฉันอยากไปกราบพ่อแม่ของคุณค่ะ

dì-chǎn yàak bpai gràap phâw mâe khǎwng khun khâ

I would like to go and pay my respects to your parents.

Female speaker

This is the serious version, said to your partner, not to the parents. กราบ gràap is the deep bow you make to elders, so the sentence announces real intent. If you only want to be introduced without that weight, say ไปหา bpai hǎa, go and see, in place of ไปกราบ. Bring fruit or a box of snacks either way. A man says ผม phǒm and ครับ khráp; at the house itself a younger woman switches to หนู nǔu for I.

สวัสดีครับคุณแม่

sà-wàt-dii khráp khun-mâe

Hello, mother.

Male speaker

Call her คุณแม่ khun-mâe from the first second, not ป้า bpâa, auntie, and never plain คุณ khun. The father is คุณพ่อ khun-phâw on the same terms. Wai as you say it, hands higher and head lower than hers, and hold it a beat longer than feels necessary. You go on using คุณพ่อคุณแม่ to address them directly for as long as you know them.

กินข้าวยัง

gin khâao yang

Have you eaten yet?

A greeting, not a question about food, and the everyday way of saying you are thinking about someone. Answer กินแล้ว gin láew (I have) or ยัง yang (not yet), and expect to be fed if you say ยัง. Send it to a partner or a parent in place of a check-in message.

ผมอยากชวนคุณไปงานวันเกิดผมครับ

phǒm yàak chuan khun bpai ngaan wan-gòet phǒm khráp

I would like to invite you to my birthday party.

Male speaker

ชวน chuan is the verb for inviting a person along with you. เชิญ choen is the formal one, used on printed invitations and as the spoken please, go ahead (เชิญครับ, choen khráp), so it sounds stiff for a birthday. Be ready for ไปกี่คน (bpai gìi khon, how many people are going), because arriving alone with you changes what the invitation means.

ผมอยากจดทะเบียนสมรสครับต้องใช้เอกสารอะไรบ้างครับ

phǒm yàak jòt-tha-biian sǒm-rót khráp dtâwng chái èek-gà-sǎan à-rai bâang khráp

I want to register a marriage. What documents do I need?

Male speaker

Said at ที่ว่าการอำเภอ (thîi-wâa-gaan am-phoe, the district office), which is where marriage to a Thai legally happens; a temple or hotel ceremony is not a marriage. Two nouns will come back at you and you need to recognise them: ใบรับรองโสด (bai ráp-rawng sòot, the affirmation of freedom to marry, which your embassy issues), and ทะเบียนบ้าน (tha-biian bâan, the house registration book, which they will ask your partner for, not you). Bring your passport and two witnesses. A woman says ค่ะ khâ and ดิฉัน dì-chǎn, which is the right register here.

ต้องแปลเอกสารที่ไหนครับ

dtâwng bplae èek-gà-sǎan thîi-nǎi khráp

Where do I have to get the documents translated?

Male speaker

Every foreign document needs a certified Thai translation, and the translation then needs รับรองเอกสาร (ráp-rawng èek-gà-sǎan, certification) before the amphoe will accept it. Ask the office itself rather than guessing; every district has a shop it deals with and they will name it. Doing this in the wrong order is the standard reason people get sent home from the counter.

ฝากสวัสดีคุณแม่ด้วยนะครับ

fàak sà-wàt-dii khun-mâe dûay ná khráp

Say hello to your mother for me.

Male speaker

Said on parting, every time, once you have met her. This is the highest-value line in the language for being remembered by a family you only see a few times a year, because it gets repeated to her word for word. ฝาก fàak, to entrust something to someone to pass on, works the same way with a greeting, a gift or a message. A woman says ค่ะ khâ.

ซื้อของฝากมาให้คุณแม่ครับ

séu khǎwng-fàak maa hâi khun-mâe khráp

I brought something back for your mother.

Male speaker

ของฝาก khǎwng-fàak is specifically something bought where you have been, and it is expected every single time you come back from anywhere, not just on a first visit. It does not need to be expensive: the well-known snack of the province you were in is the correct answer, and turning up from a trip with nothing is noticed. A woman says ค่ะ khâ.

ไม่ได้เจอกันนานเลยนะครับ

mâi dâi joe gan naan loei ná khráp

We have not seen each other in ages.

Male speaker

The opener for a returning visit, said to the parents and the aunts as much as to the partner. Follow it with สบายดีไหมครับ (sà-baai dii mǎi khráp, are you well). Walking back in after months and going straight to normal conversation is what makes an absence feel like neglect; this line names the gap and closes it. A woman says ค่ะ khâ.

ถึงบ้านยังครับ

thěung bâan yang khráp

Are you home yet?

Male speaker

The standard Thai message after you have met someone or dropped them off, sent the same evening. It reads as care rather than as checking up on them, and it is what opens the channel so the new contact is not left sitting unused. A woman says ค่ะ khâ. The expected reply is ถึงแล้วค่ะ (thěung láew khâ, I am home).

ว่างวันไหนคะ

wâang wan nǎi khá

Which day are you free?

Female speaker

Use this the moment someone accepts, because a yes with no day attached quietly dissolves within a week. It also works as the opener itself, since asking which day someone is free is a softer approach than naming one. A man says ครับ khráp.

เจอกันกี่โมงดีคะ

joe gan gìi moong dii khá

What time shall we meet?

Female speaker

Follow it in the same breath with แล้วเจอกันที่ไหนดีคะ (láew joe gan thîi nǎi dii khá, and where shall we meet). ดี dii at the end of both is what makes them a suggestion rather than a demand for information. A man says ครับ khráp.

เดี๋ยวผมไปรับนะครับ

dǐao phǒm bpai ráp ná khráp

I will come and pick you up.

Male speaker

If you have a car or a bike you will offer this constantly, for dates and for family visits alike. เดี๋ยว dǐao at the front means shortly, and it is what makes the offer sound settled rather than tentative. A woman says ฉัน chǎn and ค่ะ khâ.

สวัสดีค่ะคุณพ่อคุณแม่

sà-wàt-dii khâ khun phâw khun mâe

Hello, sir, madam.

Female speaker

You call your partner's parents คุณพ่อ khun phâw and คุณแม่ khun mâe from the first minute, never คุณ khun plus their name. Introduce yourself straight after with หนูชื่อ nǔu chêu plus your name plus ค่ะ khâ if you are a younger woman, or ผมชื่อ phǒm chêu plus ครับ khráp if you are a man. Once you are married the terms on forms and in other people's speech are พ่อตา แม่ยาย (phâw dtaa, mâe yaai) for a wife's parents and พ่อสามี แม่สามี (phâw sǎa-mii, mâe sǎa-mii) for a husband's.

นี่ของฝากครับนิดหน่อยครับ

nîi khǎwng-fàak khráp nít-nàwy khráp

This is a small something I brought for you.

Male speaker

Hand it over with both hands as you come in, and play down its size, because naming what it cost is what would be rude. You will hear มาก็มาเถอะไม่ต้องลำบากเลย (maa gâw maa thòe, mâi dtâwng lam-bàak loei, you came, that is enough, you should not have gone to the trouble). That is ritual, not a refusal, and the gift will be taken. A woman says ค่ะ khâ.

มีพี่น้องกี่คนคะ

mii phîi-náwng gìi khon khá

How many brothers and sisters do you have?

Female speaker

The second question every Thai asks after your name, and the one that decides whether you count as a person with a family. It matters more than it does at home, because birth order carries duties: the eldest is expected to support the parents. A man says ครับ khráp.

นี่ภรรยาผมครับ

nîi phan-rá-yaa phǒm khráp

This is my wife.

Male speaker

You will introduce your family weekly, and for a mixed couple here it is often a correction of what a stranger has already assumed. ภรรยา phan-rá-yaa and สามี sǎa-mii are the words for forms, hospital counters, police stations and immigration windows, where แฟน faen is not an acceptable answer. แฟน is for friends. เมีย mia and ผัว phǔa are blunt and best only understood, never used. For a child: นี่ลูกสาวผมครับ (nîi lûuk-sǎao phǒm khráp). A woman says ฉัน chǎn and ค่ะ khâ.

คิดถึงนะ

khít-thěung ná

I miss you.

Said daily between partners and to family, and much lighter than the English weight of missing someone. No particle is needed between people who are close, though ครับ khráp or ค่ะ khâ can be added for an older relative. คิดถึงบ้าน khít-thěung bâan is homesick.

เรื่องสินสอดคุยกันได้ไหมครับ

rêuang sǐn-sàwt khui gan dâi mǎi khráp

May we talk about the sin sot?

Male speaker

This is the most consequential conversation you will have in Thai, and raising it yourself, early and calmly, is far better than waiting to be told a number. Expect the answer แล้วแต่ผู้ใหญ่ค่ะ, since the figure normally reaches you through a go-between rather than from the parents directly. Ask about ทองหมั้น thawng mân, the engagement gold, in the same conversation, because it is counted separately from the cash and people forget to mention it to foreigners.

ผมอยากไปสู่ขอครับ

phǒm yàak bpai sùu khǎw khráp

I would like to come and formally ask for her.

Male speaker

สู่ขอ sùu khǎw is the formal asking visit, arranged in advance and attended by an elder from your side, ideally a Thai friend of standing if your own family is not in the country. Say this to your partner first and to her parents only through that visit. Going alone and unannounced is the mistake foreigners make, and it reads as not taking it seriously.

เราจะจดทะเบียนสมรสต้องไปที่ว่าการอำเภอไหนครับ

rao jà jòt thá-bian sǒm-rót dtâwng bpai thîi-wâa-gaan am-phoe nǎi khráp

Which district office do we go to in order to register our marriage?

Male speaker

Marriage here is an administrative act at the อำเภอ am-phoe, or at a เขต khèet in Bangkok, and it happens in Thai at a counter. จดทะเบียนสมรส jòt thá-bian sǒm-rót is the registration itself, which is what makes you married; the ceremony has no legal effect. Many offices will accept any district, but ask, because some send you back to the one on your partner's house registration. A woman says ค่ะ khâ.

ผมต้องใช้ใบรับรองความเป็นโสดจากสถานทูตใช่ไหมครับ

phǒm dtâwng chái bai ráp-rawng khwaam bpen sòot jàak sà-thǎan-thûut châi mǎi khráp

I need the affirmation of freedom to marry from my embassy, is that right?

Male speaker

The single document that stops most foreign marriages here. Your embassy issues it, then it has to be translated into Thai and legalised, so ask ต้องแปลเอกสารและรับรองที่กงสุลก่อนไหมครับ (dtâwng bplae èek-gà-sǎan láe ráp-rawng thîi gong-sǔn gàwn mǎi khráp, does it have to be translated and legalised at the consular department first). Budget several days for that step. A woman says ฉัน chǎn and ค่ะ khâ.

ผมจะต่อวีซ่าโดยอาศัยการสมรสครับ

phǒm jà dtàw wii-sâa dooi aa-sǎi gaan sǒm-rót khráp

I am extending my stay on the basis of marriage.

Male speaker

The sentence that opens the conversation at the immigration window, where the officer wants the category before anything else. The follow-up you will need at the district office is ขอเพิ่มชื่อในทะเบียนบ้านเล่มเหลืองได้ไหมครับ (khǎw phôem chêu nai thá-bian bâan lêm lěuang dâi mǎi khráp, may I be added to the yellow house book), which is the foreigner's version of the house registration and makes every later errand easier. A woman says ฉัน chǎn and ค่ะ khâ.

ใส่ซองเท่าไหร่ดีครับ

sài sawng thâo-rài dii khráp

How much should I put in the envelope?

Male speaker

Being brought to a งานแต่ง (ngaan dtàeng, wedding), a งานบวช (ngaan bùat, ordination) or a งานศพ (ngaan sòp, funeral) happens within months of joining a family, and each comes with a cash envelope. Ask a sibling or a cousin of your partner rather than the parents, who will only say แล้วแต่ค่ะ (láew dtàe khâ, up to you). That answer is not a refusal to help, it just means the question has to go sideways rather than up. A woman says ค่ะ khâ.

กลับก่อนนะครับ

glàp gàwn ná khráp

I will head off now.

Male speaker

The fixed formula for leaving someone's home, said standing, while you put your shoes back on. ก่อน gàwn, first, is what makes it polite, because it implies the others are staying and you are only the first to go. Never just ไปแล้วนะ bpai láew ná, which sounds like walking out. A woman says ค่ะ khâ.

ผมรักคุณครับ

phǒm rák khun khráp

I love you.

Male speaker

คุณ (khun) is the neutral word for you, and between two people who are already close it can sound like the top of a letter. That is why the full sentence tends to appear at real moments, a decision or a departure, rather than in daily use. Day to day the pronouns fall away and what is left is รักนะ (rák ná). The mistake to avoid is treating it as a sign-off the way English does at the end of a phone call. The full sentence stays weighty, while the short รักนะ has become an ordinary sign-off for many people, especially with family and among younger couples. The full form, though, it still means what it says.

ฉันรักคุณค่ะ

chǎn rák khun khâ

I love you.

Female speaker

ฉัน (chǎn) is the neutral I for a woman in writing and careful speech, though in conversation women more often use their own nickname, เรา (rao), or หนู (nǔu) with someone older. Do not reach for ดิฉัน (dì-chǎn) here: that is the formal register for an office or an official's counter, and it puts a desk between you and the person you are talking to. ค่ะ (khâ) is falling because this is a statement; the high คะ (khá) belongs on questions. A woman can also drop the pronoun entirely and say รักนะคะ (rák ná khá).

รักนะ

rák ná

Love you.

Male speaker

This is the form that actually gets used. Neither pronoun is said because both are obvious, and นะ (ná) turns a bare statement into something warm. Nothing in it is gendered, so a man and a woman say it identically, which is unusual in Thai and worth noticing. You can add ครับ (khráp) or ค่ะ (khâ) and it is not wrong, and whether the particle stays is a matter of the pair: some couples drop it, many never do, and with anyone older you keep ครับ / ค่ะ regardless. Dropping it signals closeness into a line whose whole purpose is closeness.

ผมชอบคุณครับ

phǒm châwp khun khráp

I like you.

Male speaker

ชอบ (châwp) is the ordinary verb for liking anything, so ชอบอาหารไทย (châwp aa-hǎan thai) is liking Thai food. Aimed at a person it is not heard as friendship, it is heard as interest, one step below รัก (rák), and it is the usual opening move. This is where foreigners misfire: they mean you are good company and are understood to be declaring something. To raise it, add มาก (mâak); ชอบมาก (châwp mâak) is the everyday way to raise it. Stronger words exist — ปลื้ม, หลง, ตกหลุมรัก — but they are marked rather than the default next step, so there is no plain stronger verb waiting between like and love.

คุณสวยมากครับ

khun sǔay mâak khráp

You are very beautiful.

Male speaker

Thai puts no verb between the subject and the adjective, so คุณสวย (khun sǔay) is already a complete sentence and inserting เป็น (bpen) is wrong. Hold the rising tone. Flattened to a mid tone, สวย (sǔay) moves towards ซวย (suay), which means jinxed or having rotten luck, and learners have said the second while meaning the first. สวย is used of a woman; a man is หล่อ (làw).

คุณหล่อมากค่ะ

khun làw mâak khâ

You are very handsome.

Female speaker

หล่อ (làw) is the counterpart of สวย (sǔay) and is normally used of men, and also of women who present or dress in a masculine way. Remarks about appearance are exchanged more openly here than they are in Britain, including between colleagues, so hearing it is not by itself a signal of interest. The low tone matters: said on the wrong tone the word is not another compliment, it is simply something the listener cannot place. The plain reply is ขอบคุณครับ (khàwp-khun khráp).

น่ารักจังเลยค่ะ

nâa-rák jang loei khâ

You are so lovely.

Female speaker

น่ารัก (nâa-rák) is built from worth plus love, and it stretches over cute, sweet and endearing. It is said of people, dogs, handwriting and the way somebody behaves, which is what makes it the safest compliment early on: it praises the whole person rather than the body. จังเลย (jang loei) is the spoken intensifier. It is warm but reads young and rather feminine, so a man is usually safer with น่ารักจัง or น่ารักมาก. It and is warmer than มาก (mâak), which is the plainer measure. The subject is left out because it is obvious, as it usually is in speech.

คิดถึงมากนะคะ

khít-thěung mâak ná khá

I miss you a lot.

Female speaker

คิดถึง (khít-thěung) is think plus reach, and it does not carry the English weight: you say it to a friend you have not seen for a month and to your mother on the phone. Here is the detail that catches learners out in writing: after นะ (ná) a woman uses the high คะ (khá), not the falling ค่ะ (khâ), even though the sentence is a statement. The wrong spelling turns up on Thai social media as well, which is where learners copy it from. A man says นะครับ (ná khráp).

คิดถึงทุกวันเลยครับ

khít-thěung thúk wan loei khráp

I miss you every day.

Male speaker

This is the fuller version of คิดถึงนะ (khít-thěung ná), and what has been added is the frequency rather than extra intensity. เลย (loei) sits at the end and reinforces what came before it, closer to really or honestly. Its other sense, at all, appears only in negatives — ไม่ชอบเลย — so do not read the two as the same, so it has to follow ทุกวัน (thúk wan) rather than precede it. Someone whose partner works in another province sends this daily and it reads as ordinary, not as drama.

ที่รักทำอะไรอยู่คะ

thîi-rák tham à-rai yùu khá

What are you doing, darling?

Female speaker

ที่รัก (thîi-rák), literally the one who is loved, stands in place of the name and can open or close the sentence, like darling in English. It replaces the name rather than sitting beside it, which is why it opens the sentence. ทำอะไรอยู่ (tham à-rai yùu) is the everyday what are you up to, and อยู่ (yùu) is what makes it right now rather than in general. The particle is the high คะ (khá) because this is a question. In practice couples use each other's nickname at least as often as ที่รัก, and that is no less affectionate.

ฝันดีนะที่รัก

fǎn dii ná thîi-rák

Sweet dreams, darling.

Male speaker

ฝันดี (fǎn dii) is dream well, and it closes the last message of the night rather than being said face to face at a door. Notice that there is no ครับ (khráp) or ค่ะ (khâ) on it: between partners the polite particle brings formality where none is wanted, and the term of address at the end does the softening instead. A woman says exactly the same words. If you are not at ที่รัก (thîi-rák) yet, drop it and keep the particle: ฝันดีนะครับ (fǎn dii ná khráp).

ขอจีบได้ไหมครับ

khǎw jìip dâi mǎi khráp

May I court you?

Male speaker

จีบ (jìip) names the whole pursuing stage, the messages, the meals and the small favours, before either of you is แฟน (faen). It announces intent with a wink rather than asking procedural permission, and works best when there is already some warmth. Saying it out loud is it is not a proposal; it states the intention so that nobody has to work out what the attention means. English has no clean equivalent, and both chase and flirt miss it, because จีบ is patient and openly declared rather than furtive. A laugh is a common answer, and it is neither a yes nor a no.

เป็นแฟนกันไหมครับ

bpen faen gan mǎi khráp

Shall we be a couple?

Male speaker

Thai marks this step explicitly. Until it has been asked you are still จีบ (jìip), and once it has been answered you are แฟน (faen) and will be introduced to friends and family that way. กัน (gan) means the two of you to each other, so the question is shall we be partners rather than will you be mine, and there is no possessive anywhere in it. Many foreigners assume the status accumulates by itself after enough evenings out; it usually does not, and never asking tends to be read as not being serious.

ผมจริงจังกับคุณนะครับ

phǒm jing-jang gàp khun ná khráp

I am serious about you.

Male speaker

จริงจัง (jing-jang) means earnest, the opposite of เล่นๆ (lên-lên), doing something for the fun of it. It carries more weight here than the English would at home, because a foreigner is often assumed to be in the country temporarily, and the line carries extra weight when the other person's family may be wondering how long you are staying, so it answers a question the family has already asked itself. Do not confuse it with จริงใจ (jing-jai), sincere, which is about honesty rather than commitment. Say it once, then let what you do carry it.

อยากพาคุณไปเจอครอบครัวค่ะ

yàak phaa khun bpai joe khrâwp-khrua khâ

I would like to take you to meet my family.

Female speaker

พา (phaa) is take a person with you. เอา (ao) is take a thing, and using เอา of a person is a beginner error that is not merely clumsy: เอา with a person as its object is also crude slang for having sex, so it lands badly, because it treats them as luggage. The subject is left off the front since ฉัน (chǎn) already appears later as the possessor, and Thai does not repeat what is clear. Understand what is being offered: a first visit is normally a meal with several relatives present, not a quiet introduction to two parents.

ฝากตัวด้วยนะครับ

fàak dtua dûay ná khráp

I put myself in your care.

Male speaker

ฝาก (fàak) is the verb for leaving something in someone's keeping, and ฝากตัว (fàak dtua) leaves yourself. You say it when you are brought into a group you now belong to: a partner's family, a new office, the neighbours. It asks for their goodwill and admits openly that you are the newcomer, which is the right posture at a first family meal. Please look after me sounds helpless in English; the Thai does not, and it is a graceful optional line rather than an expected formula, most at home when you are formally joining a group — a new office, a new neighbourhood. At a partner's family meal สวัสดีครับ with a proper wai is what is actually expected. Leaving it out is not a choice.

แอดมาเลยนะคะ

àet maa loei ná khá

Just add me.

Female speaker

You will hear this rather than say it, usually with the phone already up and the QR code on screen. The other version is สแกนเลยค่ะ (sà-gaen loei khâ, scan it). Scan it there and then, in front of them, and let them see it worked. Walking away to do it later is how contacts get lost.

ไปกับเพื่อนได้ไหมคะ

bpai gàp phêuan dâi mǎi khá

Can I bring a friend along?

Female speaker

This comes back at you far more often than foreigners expect, and yes is the only correct answer: ได้เลยครับ (dâi loei khráp). The friend is a chaperone, not a rival, and her presence means the invitation was taken seriously rather than brushed off. You pay for her too. Reading it as rejection, or sulking through the meal, ends the whole thing on the spot.

เดี๋ยวผมจ่ายเองครับ

dǐao phǒm jàai eeng khráp

I will get this.

Male speaker

Say it before the bill lands on the table, not after a silence over it. The counter you may hear is จ่ายคนละครึ่งดีไหมคะ (jàai khon-lá khrêung dii mǎi khá, shall we split it), and it is often sincere rather than a formality. On a first meal insist once, gently, then let it go if they insist back. A woman says ค่ะ khâ and ฉัน chǎn.

ดีเลยค่ะ

dii loei khâ

Sounds great, I will come.

Female speaker

A real yes. Compare ได้ค่ะ (dâi khâ, that is possible), which is agreement without warmth and often means they are only being accommodating. เลย loei is what turns it into enthusiasm, and you can add ไปค่ะ (bpai khâ, I will come) after it. ยินดีค่ะ yin-dii khâ is the polite, slightly formal version, right in front of family or colleagues but oddly stiff for a dinner. Follow up on the spot with a day and a time, or the plan quietly evaporates. A man says ครับ khráp.

ยินดีค่ะขอบคุณที่ชวนนะคะ

yin-dii khâ khàwp-khun thîi chuan ná khá

I would be delighted. Thank you for inviting me.

Female speaker

ยินดี yin-dii on its own is service register, the my pleasure of hotels and call centres, so it is a stiff answer to a friend asking you to eat. It is exactly right one rung up: accepting an invitation from a partner's parents, from a boss, or to a wedding. Keep ได้เลยค่ะ for everyday invitations. A man says ครับ khráp twice.

ถึงแล้วค่ะ

thěung láew khâ

I am home.

Female speaker

Two words, and skipping them reads as the evening not having gone well. Send it the moment you are through the door, not the next morning. The natural reply is นอนหลับฝันดีนะครับ (nawn làp fǎn dii ná khráp, sleep well), which closes the night properly.

ยังไม่ได้กินครับ

yang mâi dâi gin khráp

I have not eaten yet.

Male speaker

On a first visit to a partner's mother this is the correct answer even if you ate an hour ago. Turning down food in her own house is the coldest thing you can do there, and the meal is the point of the visit. Eat some of everything and praise one dish by name, อร่อยมากครับ (à-ràwy mâak khráp, this is delicious). A woman says ค่ะ khâ.

ยังโสดอยู่ครับ

yang sòot yùu khráp

I am still single.

Male speaker

Your answer, and also the one you will hear. ยัง yang, still, is what makes it light instead of a complaint. A woman ends with ค่ะ khâ. Expect ทำไมล่ะ (tham-mai lâ, why is that then) straight afterwards, asked with genuine friendliness.

มีแฟนแล้วค่ะ

mii faen láew khâ

I already have a partner.

Female speaker

The complete, polite full stop. If you hear it, say ครับ khráp or ค่ะ khâ once, smile and move the conversation on immediately. Pressing for detail after this is the fastest way to lose face in the room.

งั้นเรียกพี่ก็ได้ครับ

ngán rîak phîi gâw dâi khráp

Then just call me phîi.

Male speaker

Say this once the ages are out and you turn out to be the elder. It settles the pronouns for good and sounds generous rather than pulling rank. Do not announce it with ผมแก่กว่า phǒm gàe gwàa, which describes you as aged; if you need the comparison at all, โตกว่า dtoo gwàa is the kind version. From then on you call them น้อง náwng and they call you พี่ phîi, including in front of their friends.

แต่งงานหรือยังคะ

dtàeng-ngaan rěu yang khá

Are you married yet?

Female speaker

You will be asked this within minutes of meeting anyone over forty, and it is small talk, not an interrogation. มีลูกกี่คนคะ (mii lûuk gìi khon khá, how many children do you have) usually follows in the same breath. Answer plainly, then hand it back with แล้วคุณล่ะคะ.

มีลูกกี่คนคะ

mii lûuk gìi khon khá

How many children do you have?

Female speaker

Your answers are a number, or ยังไม่มีครับ (yang mâi mii khráp, none yet). Another line you hear rather than say, arriving immediately after แต่งงานหรือยัง and phrased as how many rather than whether, because the assumption is yes. It is not a probe and it is not rude, so answer it as flatly as you would give the time.

ผมมีลูกสาวหนึ่งคนอายุเจ็ดขวบครับ

phǒm mii lûuk-sǎao nèung khon aa-yú jèt khùap khráp

I have one daughter, she is seven.

Male speaker

ขวบ khùap counts years only for young children, roughly up to eleven or twelve. Use ปี bpii for anyone older, including yourself. ลูกชาย lûuk-chaai is a son. Have a photo ready, because you will be asked for one.

ผมหย่าแล้วครับตอนนี้อยู่คนเดียว

phǒm yàa láew khráp dtawn-níi yùu khon diao

I am divorced. I live on my own now.

Male speaker

หย่า yàa carries no stigma in Thai and needs no apology in your voice. What follows is มีลูกไหม (mii lûuk mǎi, do you have children), not sympathy. Say it early: answering ยังโสดอยู่ when there is an ex-wife and children in another country is the kind of thing that surfaces badly three months later. If you are widowed, ภรรยาเสียแล้วครับ (phan-rá-yaa sǐa láew khráp, my wife passed away), with เสีย sǐa rather than ตาย dtaai, which is blunt about people. A woman says ค่ะ khâ and ฉัน chǎn.

สแกนเลยครับ

sà-gaen loei khráp

Just scan it.

Male speaker

The mechanics turn, said while you hold your phone up with your QR code on screen. This is where the exchange usually stalls, because both people wait for the other to open their app. Open yours first and say this. A woman says ค่ะ khâ.

ไม่ต้องมารับก็ได้ค่ะเจอกันที่ร้านเลย

mâi dtâwng maa ráp gâw dâi khâ joe gan thîi ráan loei

You do not need to collect me, let us just meet at the restaurant.

Female speaker

This is a real answer, not shyness, and not a hint that you should insist. Early on, many Thai women prefer to arrive under their own steam, and being collected from home means letting you see where they live. Say ได้ครับ dâi khráp and meet them at the restaurant. A man says ครับ khráp.

ไม่ลำบากเลยครับ

mâi lam-bàak loei khráp

It was no trouble at all.

Male speaker

The scripted answer to มาก็มาเถอะไม่ต้องลำบากเลย. Silence at this point is conspicuous, because the exchange has a fixed shape and everyone in the room knows the missing line. A woman says ค่ะ khâ.

ไม่มีแฟนแต่มีคนคุยอยู่ค่ะ

mâi mii faen dtàe mii khon khui yùu khâ

I do not have a partner, but there is someone I am talking to.

Female speaker

คนคุย khon khui is the stage between single and taken, and anyone under about thirty five will answer your opener with it. It means the door is nearly shut, so treat it as a no unless they say otherwise. Two more answers to know: เพิ่งเลิกกับแฟนค่ะ (phôeng lôek gàp faen khâ, I just broke up), and กิ๊ก gík, which is a side partner, so เป็นกิ๊กกันไหม is not an offer of a relationship. You may also get the teasing counter ถามทำไมคะ (thǎam tham-mai khá, why do you ask). A man says ครับ khráp.

แล้วคุณล่ะคะ

láew khun lâ khá

And you?

Female speaker

The two syllables that keep a Thai conversation alive. Answer any question you are asked, then hand it straight back with this instead of letting the exchange die. Once names or ages are settled, drop คุณ and use the kin term: แล้วพี่ล่ะครับ (láew phîi lâ khráp) to someone older, แล้วน้องล่ะครับ to someone younger. A man says ครับ khráp.

แล้วจะบอกนะคะ

láew jà bàwk ná khá

I will let you know.

Female speaker

Learn to hear this one, because it is a polite no in nine cases out of ten. A Thai refusal is almost never ไม่ mâi. The same answer comes dressed as ไว้โอกาสหน้านะคะ (wái oo-gàat nâa ná khá, let us leave it for another time) or เดี๋ยวดูก่อนนะคะ (dǐao duu gàwn ná khá, let me see first), and sometimes as no reply at all. The rule is simple: if a day is not named back to you in the same conversation, the answer was no. Asking a second time costs you the friendship as well.

ผมเป็นลูกคนโตครับ

phǒm bpen lûuk khon dtoo khráp

I am the eldest child.

Male speaker

The answer form. ลูกคนเล็ก lûuk khon lék is the youngest, ลูกคนกลาง lûuk khon glaang the middle one, and ลูกคนเดียว lûuk khon diao an only child, which reliably gets a sympathetic noise. A woman says ฉัน chǎn and ค่ะ khâ.

ผมอายุสี่สิบสองปีครับ

phǒm aa-yú sìi-sìp-sǎwng bpii khráp

I am forty two years old.

Male speaker

You will be asked your age constantly and it is not impolite here, so have the number ready rather than deflecting. Adults count in ปี bpii; ขวบ khùap is only for young children. Swap in your own number and note that thirty is สามสิบ sǎam-sìp, fifty ห้าสิบ hâa-sìp. A woman says ฉัน chǎn and ค่ะ khâ.

แล้วแต่ผู้ใหญ่ค่ะ

láew dtàe phûu-yài khâ

That is for the elders to decide.

Female speaker

The answer you will get about the sin sot, and it is genuine rather than evasive: the figure is set by the older generation and relayed to you, often by an aunt or an uncle rather than by the parents. Do not push for a number in the room. Find out through the same channel who the ผู้ใหญ่ phûu-yài actually is, because that is the person the negotiation runs through.

เดือนหน้ามาใหม่ครับ

deuan nâa maa mài khráp

I will come again next month.

Male speaker

The answer to เมื่อไหร่จะมาอีก (mêua-rài jà maa ìik, when are you coming again), which you will be asked at the gate every single time you leave. Name a real period, because a vague thank you is heard as not coming back. If you are invited with มากินข้าวที่บ้านนะ (maa gin khâao thîi bâan ná, come and eat at the house), answer ครับ เดี๋ยวมาครับ (khráp, dǐao maa khráp, yes, I will come) rather than thanking them for the thought. A woman says ค่ะ khâ.

รักเหมือนกันค่ะ

rák měuan-gan khâ

I love you too.

Female speaker

เหมือนกัน (měuan-gan) means the same, and it is how Thai returns a feeling. There is no word parked at the end of the sentence for too, so learners who translate word for word run out of sentence and say nothing. Both pronouns are dropped, which means the reply works whoever is speaking and only the particle changes. A plain รักนะ (rák ná) back is just as common and no cooler.

เขินเลยค่ะ

khǒen loei khâ

Now you have embarrassed me.

Female speaker

เขิน (khǒen) is the pleased kind of embarrassment, being caught out by a compliment rather than shamed by one. Expect it to arrive with a laugh, a hand over the mouth or a sudden change of subject, and expect a laugh, a hand over the mouth, or a sudden change of subject. Foreigners often read that deflection as rejection when it is not. Foreigners take the deflection for rejection and stop. The right move is to let the compliment pass and carry on talking, not to repeat it more loudly or ask whether something is wrong.

ขอเวลาคิดก่อนนะคะ

khǎw wee-laa khít gàwn ná khá

Let me have some time to think about it first.

Female speaker

It is often the answer rather than a pause before one. Thai avoids a flat refusal wherever it can, so a delay is very often the reply itself, and what happens over the next few days tells you which reply it was. If the messages carry on as before, the question is still open; if they thin out, you have been told. Pressing for a decision at this point only makes the eventual no harder to give, and it is the commonest way a foreigner turns a soft landing into an awkward one.

ตอนนี้ยังไม่พร้อมมีแฟนค่ะ

dtawn-níi yang mâi phráwm mii faen khâ

I am not ready to have a partner at the moment.

Female speaker

This is the polite refusal, and it is worth more to you than any declaration. ยัง (yang), still or not yet, does all the work: it frames the answer as timing rather than as a verdict on you, which lets both of you keep face. Do not read ยัง as an invitation to ask again next month. The graceful response is ครับ (khráp) or ค่ะ (khâ), a thank you, and a change of subject.

ขอรู้จักกันก่อนนะครับ

khǎw rúu-jàk gan gàwn ná khráp

Let us get to know each other first.

Male speaker

ก่อน (gàwn), first or before anything else, is the hinge in a great many Thai refusals: the thing is not refused, it is simply put after something else. That is what makes the line usable by someone who does not want to wound you and does not want to say yes either. It can be entirely sincere and it can be a soft no, and the words will not tell you which; whether they keep answering messages will. A woman says นะคะ (ná khá).

พูดจริงหรือเปล่าครับ

phûut jing rěu bplào khráp

Are you serious?

Male speaker

หรือเปล่า (rěu bplào), literally or blank, is the neutral yes or no tag and carries no suspicion in it. Asked in reply to a declaration it can mean the declaration landed early, or simply that they are surprised and want to hear it again. Either way it usually means the declaration arrived early, and the speaker is giving you room to soften it. Answer it straight. Turning it into a joke is heard as a confession that you were not serious, which may not be what you meant at all.

คิดถึงเหมือนกันครับ

khít-thěung měuan-gan khráp

I miss you too.

Male speaker

The mirrored reply again. Thai answers me too by repeating the verb and adding เหมือนกัน (měuan-gan), so once you hold the pattern you can build the response to almost anything: ชอบเหมือนกัน (châwp měuan-gan), หิวเหมือนกัน (hǐu měuan-gan). Thai does have ด้วย for too — ไปด้วย, เอาด้วย — but it does not work for mirroring a feeling. To return one, repeat the verb and add เหมือนกัน. What you cannot do is copy the English shape and end the sentence with a word for too, because no such word exists.

ไว้พาไปเจอที่บ้านนะคะ

wái phaa bpai joe thîi bâan ná khá

I will take you to meet them at home sometime.

Female speaker

ไว้ (wái) at the front of a sentence puts the action in an unfixed future, we will, though not now. It can be either a genuine plan or a gentle no — that is exactly what makes it usable. Whether the messages keep coming tells you which it was, not a brush-off, but it comes without a date on purpose. Do not press for one. The occasion is theirs to choose, and pushing to be taken this weekend asks a household to prepare faster than it wants to.

ผมก็รู้สึกแบบนั้นเหมือนกันครับ

phǒm gâw rúu-sèuk bàep nán měuan-gan khráp

I feel the same way.

Male speaker

ก็ (gâw) is the small word that makes a sentence an echo of the one before it. Leave it out and the grammar still stands, but the line stops sounding like a reply and starts sounding like a fresh announcement, which is the flat note foreigners cannot hear themselves striking. แบบนั้น (bàep nán) points back at what was just said, so nothing has to be repeated.

ตกลงค่ะ

dtòk-long khâ

Yes, agreed.

Female speaker

ตกลง (dtòk-long) closes an agreement of any kind, a price, a plan, or เป็นแฟนกันไหม (bpen faen gan mǎi). The answer to a serious question is often exactly this short, and the brevity is not reluctance; a long enthusiastic speech would be the odd thing. The same word starts a sentence when arrangements are being settled, in the sense of so then, that is decided.

ขอโทษครับผมฟังไม่ทันพูดช้าๆอีกครั้งได้ไหมครับ

khǎw-thôot khráp phǒm fang mâi than phûut cháa-cháa ìik khráng dâi mǎi khráp

Sorry, I could not follow. Could you say it again slowly?

Male speaker

ฟังไม่ทัน fang mâi than means it went past too fast, which is much better received than ไม่เข้าใจ mâi khâo-jai, I do not understand, because it blames the speed rather than yourself or them. Use it on a family member who has just asked you something across a dinner table. A woman says ค่ะ khâ and ฉัน chǎn.

ขอโทษค่ะฉันเรียกผิดควรเรียกว่าอะไรดีคะ

khǎw-thôot khâ chǎn rîak phìt khuan rîak wâa à-rai dii khá

Sorry, I used the wrong term. What should I call you?

Female speaker

For the moment you realise you have called an older woman น้อง náwng, or used พี่ phîi on someone younger than you. Fix it out loud and immediately. Correcting yourself is read as respect, whereas quietly avoiding all pronouns from then on is read as coldness. A man says ครับ khráp and ผม phǒm.

ขอบคุณที่ชวนนะครับแต่ผมมีแฟนแล้วครับ

khàwp-khun thîi chuan ná khráp dtàe phǒm mii faen láew khráp

Thank you for asking me, but I already have a partner.

Male speaker

Thank them for the invitation first, and only then give the reason. That order is the whole trick, because it makes the refusal about your situation rather than about them. Keep smiling and stay in the conversation for a few minutes afterwards instead of leaving, which is what actually saves face. A woman says ค่ะ khâ and ฉัน chǎn.

เราเป็นเพื่อนกันดีกว่านะคะ

rao bpen phêuan gan dii-gwàa ná khá

I think we are better as friends.

Female speaker

ดีกว่า dii-gwàa, better, frames it as choosing the good option rather than rejecting the bad one, and นะ ná softens the whole line. Say it once, gently, in private. Repeating or explaining it turns a graceful exit into an embarrassment for both of you. A man says ครับ khráp.

ขอบคุณมากค่ะแต่วันนั้นติดธุระโอกาสหน้านะคะ

khàwp-khun mâak khâ dtàe wan nán dtìt thú-rá oo-gàat nâa ná khá

Thank you so much, but I have something on that day. Next time.

Female speaker

The standard warm decline for an invitation to a birthday, a wedding or a family meal. ติดธุระ dtìt thú-rá is a complete excuse in Thai and nobody expects details, so do not invent any. โอกาสหน้า oo-gàat nâa, next time, is the part that keeps the door open, so only say it if you mean it. A man says ครับ khráp.

ตอนนี้ผมไม่สะดวกครับ

dtawn-níi phǒm mâi sà-dùak khráp

I am not in a position to right now.

Male speaker

The standard refusal for a request for money, whether it comes from a partner or is relayed from the family. ไม่สะดวก mâi sà-dùak needs no explanation, exactly as ติดธุระ dtìt thú-rá needs none for an invitation. Giving a reason, above all a financial one, opens a negotiation you cannot win, whereas ไม่สะดวก closes it. Say it once, keep your voice warm, and change the subject yourself. A woman says ค่ะ khâ and ฉัน chǎn.

ช่วยได้แค่นี้นะครับ

chûay dâi khâe níi ná khráp

This is all I can help with.

Male speaker

For when you do want to give something, but not the sum that was asked for. Name the figure, hand it over, say the line, and it sets a ceiling without an argument. Said once it is respected. Said again three months later with a bigger figure attached, it teaches the opposite lesson. A woman says ค่ะ khâ.

งอนอยู่หรือเปล่าครับ

ngawn yùu rěu bplào khráp

Are you sulking with me?

Male speaker

งอน ngawn is a specific, expected and repairable state: quiet, short answers, turning away, and it wants to be noticed. It is not the same as โกรธ gròot, real anger, which you would ask about with โกรธผมหรือเปล่าครับ (gròot phǒm rěu bplào khráp). A foreigner who reads ngawn as either nothing or a crisis makes it worse both ways. Ask, in private, in a warm voice. A woman says ค่ะ khâ.

ผมผิดเองครับขอโทษนะครับ

phǒm phìt eeng khráp khǎw-thôot ná khráp

It was my fault, I am sorry.

Male speaker

Take the fault plainly and do not explain, because the explanation is what restarts the argument. Then use the verb for making up: ง้อ ngáw, as in ผมมาง้อครับ (phǒm maa ngáw khráp, I have come to make it up to you), which is usually done with food, a small gift and showing up in person. อย่างอนเลยนะ (yàa ngawn loei ná, please do not stay cross) and หายงอนยัง (hǎai ngawn yang, forgiven me yet) close it out. A woman says ฉัน chǎn and ค่ะ khâ.

หาไม่เจอครับส่งลิงก์ไลน์มาได้ไหมครับ

hǎa mâi joe khráp sòng ling lai maa dâi mǎi khráp

I cannot find you. Could you send me your LINE link?

Male speaker

Half of all LINE adds fail on the spot, usually because the ID search turns up nothing or the QR code will not focus. Asking for the link is the fix and nobody finds it awkward. Say it straight away rather than pretending the add worked, because a contact that never landed cannot be recovered later. A woman says ค่ะ khâ.

ผมไม่ได้ตั้งใจทำให้คุณอึดอัดครับ

phǒm mâi dâi dtâng-jai tham hâi khun èut-àt khráp

I did not mean to make you uncomfortable.

Male speaker

อึดอัด (èut-àt) is the physical feeling of not being able to breathe freely, and Thai uses the same word for social discomfort, which tells you how it is experienced. ไม่ได้ (mâi dâi) before the verb denies that the thing was done, so the apology is about your intention rather than about their feeling, and the intention is the part that is yours to apologise for. Say it once, straight away, and then stop. A long explanation asks them to manage your embarrassment on top of their own.

ขอโทษนะคะ อาจจะเร็วไปหน่อย

khǎw-thôot ná khá àat-jà reo bpai nàwy

Sorry — maybe things moved a bit too fast.

Female speaker

Adjective plus ไป (bpai) is the too pattern: แพงไป (phaeng bpai) too expensive, เผ็ดไป (phèt bpai) too spicy. หน่อย (nàwy), a bit, takes the edge off the admission and keeps it from sounding like a confession. Note that the particle sits after ขอโทษ (khǎw-thôot) rather than at the very end, which is normal when the apology is the main point of the sentence. A man says ขอโทษครับ (khǎw-thôot khráp) and uses ผม (phǒm).

เราเป็นเพื่อนกันเหมือนเดิมได้ไหมครับ

rao bpen phêuan gan měuan-doem dâi mǎi khráp

Can we still be friends the way we were?

Male speaker

เหมือนเดิม (měuan-doem), the same as before, is an everyday phrase you will also hear when somebody orders their usual coffee. Asked after a refusal it hands the other person an easy yes and lets you both keep the friends you share, which matters when the circle is the same circle. Ask it once. If the answer is another soft delay, take that as a no and leave it there.

ไม่ต้องตอบตอนนี้ก็ได้ค่ะ

mâi dtâwng dtàwp dtawn-níi gâw dâi khâ

You do not have to answer right now.

Female speaker

ก็ได้ (gâw dâi) at the end means that would be all right, and it is how Thai offers an option without pressing it. Offering the exit yourself is the polite move, because it removes the need for anyone to refuse you to your face, which is the thing Thai manners work hardest to avoid. ไม่ต้อง (mâi dtâwng) is no need, not must not; the word that forbids is ห้าม (hâam).